Writer: Kyle Pearson

First things first, we are starting a comedy section throughout the site and providing interesting solutions while addressing predicaments and challenges for every college student that they don’t always like to admit..

Onto the situation presented today,

My professor is hot, what do I do next?

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There is no better feeling than settling in to the first day of class only to realize that your professor is easy on the eyes. In fact, it may be one of the best ways to keep focused all semester.

Discovering your teacher makes you interested in more than just the subject they are teaching can be a delicate matter to handle. The situation is similar to playing with matches, if you aren’t careful you’ll get burned, but if you handle it just right you may find yourself with quite the flame.

The most important thing to remember is remain calm, put yourself in the professor’s shoes, being a pushy student attempting to get with a professor may be an express route to expulsion.

One major thing to keep in mind is positioning, sitting in the back of the classroom is a perfect way to never get noticed by your unique classroom crush. Sitting in the front and asking frequent questions is a for sure way to be noticed, just make sure you aren’t asking excessive redundant questions that will irritate the one you are longing for. An additional way to get noticed is going up after class to clear up any confusing material, office hours are your best friend.

Getting noticed is one thing, but you need to let your intentions be known, whether it be looking for a cuddle buddy or possibly something a little more “involved.” When the professor is giving a lecture, or going over a presentation make consistent eye contact. Now don’t stare hardcore like you’re Hannibal Lecter, simply maintain eye contact. This will feel awkward but just think what is going through the professor’s mind, “Why is this student not looking away?” It may just be the one thing that they won’t stop thinking about.

There is no ensured success rate for these methods, in fact there is no way to prove they work at all. Worst case scenario is that you mess things up and end up with awkward eye contact for a semester. You may even pay such close attention that you actually learn something from what the professor is teaching. Either way, a hopeful reminder to keep in mind is that there is always next semester to try again.

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